I'm Too Scared To Break Up With Her..
(So I'll break her heart by staying)
If you're dating with intention, you should know within a year whether or not you want to marry her.
I stand by that.
Dating is for assessing compatibility for marriage, nothing more. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s not a years-long limbo. It’s a process with a purpose.
But what about the guys who’ve already been in multi-year relationships? Living together. Having sex. Playing house. Still “figuring it out”?
Let me be blunt: You already have the information you need. You just don’t like the answer.
Truth Is the Foundation
If you’re “trying to figure things out,” you need to pause and take inventory.
Not just whether she’s hot, or fun, or gives you great sex.
But the deeper stuff:
Would she make a good wife and mother?
Does she bring peace or chaos into your life?
Do you become a better man around her?
Do you actually complement one another?
Strip it down to the root:
Do you love her enough to commit to her for life, flaws and all?
Because that’s what marriage is. Not a highlight reel. Not an Instagram-worthy partnership.
It’s merging into one flesh with another human being, for better or worse, all the way through.
If Yes, Marry Her.
If No, Why Are You Still Here?
Seriously. What are you doing?
If you know she’s not your wife, stop lying to both of you.
Stop wasting her time while pretending it’s “out of love” that you stay.
You’re not protecting her.
You’re robbing her of time, clarity, closure, and the man who would actually commit to her fully.
Let’s Call It What It Is
This isn’t compassion.
It’s cowardice.
You’re too scared to face the pain of letting go, so you cling to comfort and drag things out.
One foot in, one foot out.
No peace. No clarity. No future.
You both lose.
And if you bring kids into that chaos, they lose even more.
If She’s Not Your Wife, Stop Treating Her Like She Is
You don’t want to break her heart by leaving,
So you break it slowly by staying.
Be a man. Do what’s right.
End it.
Let her move on.
So you can too.
The Cost of Indecision
Indecision isn’t neutral.
Dragging your feet might feel easier in the moment, but it creates damage that’s harder to undo down the road.
You lose trust in yourself. She loses trust in you. And over time, your conscience starts to rot under the weight of the truth you’ve been avoiding.
A man who won’t make a decision becomes a man who can’t make one.
You don’t get clarity by endlessly thinking, you get it by acting.
So if you’re unsure about the woman you’re with, stop pretending that more time is going to magically make things clearer. Stop hoping you’ll stumble into conviction by accident.
Pray. Reflect. Get counsel. And then make the hard call.
Either step up and lead her toward marriage…
Or release her with honesty and courage before you waste another month (or years) of both your lives.
Because passivity kills love.
And cowardice kills trust.
Choose the path of integrity, even if it costs you comfort.
That’s what real men do.
Want to get serious about your personal growth and development as a man?
Read this over, fill out an application, and book an intro call with me.
Let’s get to work.