How To Find Your Purpose As A Man
Clarifying an easily overwhelming topic.
Men, do you know what your purpose is? Have you found your calling and do you know the reason that you are here?
These are big questions and I know many men who are grappling with them.
I spent a decade wrestling with my soul trying to figure out how to put the pieces together in my life in order to step into a higher purpose.
In this article, I am going to demystify the concept of “finding your purpose”. I am going to help you bring clarity to your thought process around this vitally important topic, and supply you with some actionable steps that you can take in the pursuit of finding your true calling.
Demystifying The Topic Of Purpose
One of the biggest mistakes I see men make who are seeking after their purpose in life is that they are looking to go from step one, to ultimate meaning and fulfillment in one movement. Let me be the first to tell you that it just doesn’t work this way. If you want to move towards more purpose, it is essential that you honour where you are currently at in your life.
You must get real with yourself. Don’t be a man who obsesses over what his purpose is while neglecting how you show up and do the things that are in front of you. If you want to be a purpose driven man, start handling what’s in front of you with purpose and intention. Be excellent at the mundane things in front of you. Approach your day with a desire to be impeccable. Become a master of this current level that you are on. Don’t make bullshit excuses about how you aren’t showing up at your best because this isn’t what you really want to be doing. That’s loser talk.
If you can’t be a good shepherd of the little things, what makes you think that you’d be able to handle the big ones?
Waiting For Total Clarity Is A Trap
If you are waiting for God to tap you on the shoulder, and whisper in your ear your exact reason for being here, you are likely going to be waiting for a long time.
Realizing your purpose is seldom a lightning bolt moment of divine clarity. More often than not you find your purpose down in the mud. It’s something you grasp at in the dark. It’s something that you have to fight, claw, crawl and scrap for.
Stop over-romanticizing the process of finding your purpose. While doing something intensely dramatic like a rite of passage or a multi-day wilderness fast can sometimes bring clarity, too many men wait for absolute clarity before just putting one foot in front of the other, and as a result they live lost in a state of chronic confusion. Purpose is discovered through consistent action and forward movement in life. It’s found down in the trenches, not up in the clouds. Instead of looking for perfect clarity, focus on taking one step in the direction of your curiosity, your interest, or your passion.
Realize That Work Is Inescapable
Understand also that finding your purpose is not a golden ticket to an easy, care-free existence. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that once you discover your purpose, you will not work another day in your life.
If you are blessed enough to have your purpose become your career, you will still wake up on certain days tired and not wanting to do your work. Things will still be hard, and you will find new problems and things to worry about. Stop thinking that once you get out of whatever you deem to be meaningless that life will be drastically and completely different. No, you will still be you.
Finding your purpose is a continuation of your life, not an escape from it. Work is an inescapable part of being a man, so don’t go on a quest to find meaning in a secret attempt to avoid work.
Final Considerations + Actions To Take:
Be willing to try things out while continuing to move forward. Things become clearer through action and taking steps, not just standing still and pondering.
Avoid stagnation and excessive rumination. You won’t figure it out through obsessive thought, but through continued action.
Ask the people closest to you what they think that you are best at doing. Often our purpose is so close to us that we can’t see it clearly on our own.
Move toward your natural strengths, curiosities and areas of interest.
Know that purpose will come to a man in a multitude of ways. Sometimes the quote, “your deepest gifts grow in the garden of your deepest wounds” applies. Often it is where we have experienced the most pain in life that we can be of the greatest service to others.
It is likely that your purpose could manifest itself in a multitude of ways. If you have a desire to help and positively impact others, how that actually materializes could be different than you initially thought. Be open to adjusting your course as you are moving forward.
Realize that purpose doesn’t always need to be grandiose and huge. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself fully to something seemingly mundane if it is for a higher good or cause, like supporting your family.
If you can’t find what your purpose is, give yourself fully instead to how you show up and live your life. Bringing an attitude of mastery to your day can be enough to fill you with purpose and drive.
Whatever you do, do it to the Glory of God. Glorify Him through your efforts rather than making it about glorifying yourself.
What stood out to you in this post? Where are you at when it comes to the topic of purpose? Have you found it? If you did, how did you arrive there?
Thanks Brendan, this was encouraging. As a slightly younger guy I find myself in a fog sometimes when it comes to where specifically in my field I should work, how I can do my best to be a good witness in it, and making sure I'm doing what God wants me to do. Along with all that, figuring out where a woman could come into my life can seem daunting. I have to remember to not think that I need to have it all together immediately and focus on each day as it comes.
This.